Mindlessly loving
Have you ever been so in love with someone that you let bad things happen to you or others because you refused to acknowledge them for who they actually might be? You trusted the one you loved implicitly and let things go without question.
Things get overlooked.
You might be wondering if there were any red flags. How could he have gone on like this for so long without you recognizing what he was doing?
But how could you have missed it and fallen for the wrong person despite all the warning flags?
At the start of a relationship, there are usually red flags. Nothing is more upsetting than being caught off guard by a situation and realizing that a person you thought you knew is not who you thought he or she was.
When you’re in love with someone, you overlook all the red flags and allow certain behaviors and acts to pass by because you’re so caught up in the illusion of who you believe they are and who they perceive themselves to be.
You don’t want to think about the possibility that he or she is the bad guy. Instead, you either create your own image of the positive traits you want to see in him/her, or you enhance the wonderful qualities he/she has revealed to you.
We only want to see the best in the people we care about. It is therefore impossible to see them as anything else.
When we love someone, we overlook flaws and red flags. We form the habit of ignoring their flaws and focusing on their strengths. Furthermore, we can mold their personalities to be exactly what we want them to be for us.
You are completely unaware of their true nature. When you love someone, you may ignore or refuse to see the warning signs in front of you, or the cheating partner may have told lies and concealed things so well that they were simply not seen as his true character, so you missed things.
Sometimes people pretend to love you but do not. They may act as if they love you, or they may invent reasons to convince themselves that they do, but you are completely unaware of the reasons.
Listen to those close to you.
I understand that not everyone wants to hear this, but it is important to take into account what your friends and family think about the person you chose to be with.
I also know that unhealthy family members are prone to exaggeration, so we should ask ourselves, “Is what family/friends say about the one we love true?”
We should not be blinded by love and dismiss warning flags. It would be quite beneficial if you took everything into account.
Stop justifying inappropriate behavior.
Make no apologies or justifications for your partner’s bad behavior. If you do this at any point in your relationship, you may have fallen in love with the wrong person.
Call them out
If you ever wonder if you’re insane or overreacting to anything you’ve witnessed, or if it’s just a gut feeling, follow your instincts.
I’d like to remind everyone not to ignore signs. It is not wrong to hold someone responsible for their actions. You have feelings, and you deserve to be heard. If you notice anything out of the ordinary, please report it. If the other person becomes enraged, you should consider your own safety and seek assistance.
Other factors
Have you ever thought you were in love with someone only to discover afterward that you weren’t? To properly comprehend the problem, you must first figure out why you are feeling this way. You must analyze whether you are experiencing actual love or an emotional attachment. Perhaps they’re already married, or they don’t love you as much as you love them, or they’re not providing you with the relationship you desire.
Identifying the issue
Emotional dependency develops when a person believes that to survive, he or she needs the help and support of another person. In that it frequently leads to powerful sentiments, loving that person is akin to emotional reliance. Love is unselfish, whereas attachment is selfish and self-seeking.
Choosing to counsel
If you are uncomfortable speaking openly to your partner or are having communication issues, relationship counseling may be beneficial. Making the decision to seek advice can allow you to look at difficulties differently and build a more constructive relationship than you have in the past.
One more thing
Before we wrap things up, I’d like to share something that Najwa Zebian wrote that had a huge impact on me. We occasionally show love to the wrong person and wonder, “How could I have shown that person love?” or “What a waste of time.” But don’t think about it that way. You should think of the fact that you were able to give love since it shows that you possess it. It indicates that you are defined by this. The same may be said about everything else. It’s the same with your ability to be compassionate, truthful, and kind.
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